GHOSTS OF CHRISTMAS PAST.

HI TEAM! Happy New Year my huns, and a quick but VERY FIRM reminder to ignore all the painful 'new year new me' chat - especially if it's focused on changing something about the way you look physically.

The body you're in right now - regardless of its size or shape, or how many hundreds of pigs in blankets it ate (hi, me) - has carried you and kept you safe through TWO WHOLE YEARS of a highly traumatic global pandemic (sick of it, you?) and who you are on the inside is 100x more important. My favourite quote is: You're only as pretty as you treat people. So be kind, be genuine and let's carry on as we were, ok?

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

Now that's done, I thought I'd do a super quick and easy post to ease me back into blogging (going to try and do more this year) of the hysterical Happy Christmas and Happy New Year messages that I, and some anonymous contributors - hi gals <3 - received over the festive period from the ghosts of fuck boys past.

Happy Christmas, Lizzie! I was thinking of you and wanted to reach out to wish you well. So, best wishes and hope you get all you wish for x

To: Me (obvs)

From: A guy who ghosted me in May 2020. So many wishes.

I thought I'd message today as there is no bad feeling from my end, so Happy Christmas and all the best.

To: Me

From: A guy who snapped back and said he'd never "usually" date someone "as big as" me when I VERY kindly and gently ended things earlier this year. I'm afraid, there IS bad feeling from my 'big' end.

Happy Xmas. It's a shame we don't talk and this time of year really makes you think.

To: My friend.

From: A guy who she dated for 6 months in 2020 and then found out he had a girlfriend the whole time. Really does make you think, huh?

Happy New Year! Sorry, I'm using Insta off my browser haha. Wish you all the best. It took a lot to message you tbh.

To: My friend

From: A situationship gone very wrong earlier this year because the guy was a secret weirdo all along. It took a lot, and he shouldn't have bothered, especially from the browser, tbh.

HNY! Looking cute as always. You got a man now or you interested?

To: My friend

From: A guy she went on two dates with in 2018, yes that's right TWENTY EIGHTEEN. This was first contact since then. For some reason 'HNY' instead of 'Happy New Year' really makes this a contender for my favourite message.

Hi, sorry I missed new year I was going to message you then but thought you'd not want to hear from me so hope you're well and I won't message again.

To: My friend

From: A guy she went out with in Spring 2021 and hasn't spoken to since he ghosted her after the third date.

Hi bxby,, you want a sugar daddy in 2022 ?! i I like your pretty& perfect smile and nice feet so msg me back bbe when u can and we can get t talking and we get on well I know.. x x.x

To: Me

From: A silver fox (I'M JOKING) who might be my ticket to riches and becoming a lady of leisure this year (again, I'm joking... I think....)

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Did you get any fun, fuckboy messages over Xmas/New Year? Leave me a comment or send me a message and let me know... <3 More from me soon, I promise. Lx